For Joan, the battle began when she was only 5. She was cornered in a room with an aviating little devious roach circling the ozone of her room with a very bright pink painted walls. Hyperventilating, She stayed on the same spot trying not to make any sudden movement. Already, tears running down her cheeks and sweats coming out of her lifeless skin's spores. After what seemed like an eternity, her friend Lesly came in and saw Joan's motionless body trapped in the corner, crippled with fear and holding onto her slippers just in case the monster attacks her. She wasn't sure if Lesly was laughing at her as Lesly killed the nasty 2-atennas damn bug with her own slippers but nevertheless, she was Joan's first hero. After the incident, the fued between her and the roaches are so on.
Many years has passed, she was able to lived a normal life with an occasional war against the roaches. Sometimes she lost, sometimes she takes home the trophy. The most recent encounter she had with her archenemy was just 2 days ago. She was with some friends hanging out at a local coffee shop as they do every weekend. After just a several sips of the freshly brewed coffee, she felt the helplessness urge to run and do "number one."
As she closed the door behind her, she got the feeling that there's a war about to go off. She examined the location, and there it is; the ugliest, fowliest, nastiest, and devious creature her two eyeballs ever layed on on the face of the earth--right by her right foot. She jumped as high as she can, hoping that she still have a shot at winning the war. She layed flat paralyzed against the door with her arms stretched so up high it could reached the ceiling and her feet tip-toeing as if it woud prevent the monster from attacking.
With her Oriental-Asian-Pacific-Filipino chinky eyes, she watched the monster crawled for covers under the toilet. Her skinny knees quivers as she desparately gasped for air and felt that same feeling she had when she first battled against the creature.
"DAMN IT." She said annoyed.
Now, the only matter that's more atrocious than discovering a roach on your potty break is losing sight of it. There's no knowing where and when it will attack. You'll never know if it's about to fall on your head, creep up on your legs, fly towards your humanly face, or worse--land in your ass while you're taking a pee [Now that would be a million bitch and a half.]
Battling the urge to curl into a ball of mass delirium and cause an ephedemic humilating scandal in the bathroom of the coffee shop, Joan tried to get her head in the game and thinked straight. She heard a faint small voice in her head telling her to suck it up and stand up for herself and fight the battle she can't lose. Fighting would be better than having her friends or worse, enemies; hear about her pathetic battle agains the roach on the local tabloids.
"Medical Student: Lost a battle against a roach."
Now that would be a news-worthy story.
Shaking off her fear of roaches and focusing to fear of social stigma, She came to conclusion to face her archenemy. Without taking her sight off the place where the monster was seen disappeared, she desparately reached for the bar of soap at the sink.
"Oh hell naaaaw! There's nooooo effing way I will use my Jimmy Choo flip-flop to kill that monster." She thought to her self.
Finally, she raised her arm up high, and got ready to strike as soon as she even just spot a millionth of a millimeter of the devious monster's nasty and disgusting antennas. After merciless ten minutes of nerve shaking suspense [Yes, she stood there motionless, bar of soap in her hand, and quiet for ten long minutes], she audaciously tried singing "The Eency Weency Spider" to lure the monster out of hiding. Can you think of a song about cockroaches? Don't think so.
After the miny concert to lure it out.
Nothing happened.
With a half-squinter eyes, she finally decided it's time to end the war. With a determination and lots of courage she bent her trembling knees further and took aim, then threw the bar of soap onto the floor behind the toilet. "THUD!" As the soap hits the floor.
Still, no sign of the monster.
Quickly, she realized that she just lost hand of her weapon available for the monster's possible extermination. She panicked, drown on her fears, she opened the door behind her and ran for her dear life.
She lost the battle this time. Again.
Joan felt proud nevertheless for being so brave in the face of the war. She wasn't a coward. She fought. She was the party that was on the offense after all. She felt powerfully renewed. She felt the Queen-you-can't-mess-with of the modern world. "Next time, I won't lose." She said to her self. She felt omnipotent.
After all that, she still had to pee.
